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dark dark dark [Dec. 19th, 2008|12:13 am]
now your ghost
you can find a home away from here.
i always wanted to find a home away here.
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i drove to new york [Apr. 22nd, 2008|11:16 pm]
i once fell in love with a city called new orleans.
it took me maNY MANY MANY different places.
some were calm. some were NOT CALM.
some were naked......some were so clothed.
some were beautiful.
some hurt a lot.
some still hurt a lot.
once i fell in love.
she was sweet and kind and i never wanted to believe that we would be anything other than...
what we were. i wanted to see our live together and that was it.
but eh things change.
once i fell close to love.
he was. god. i have no words.
he was smart and funny and knew how to do a lot of things.
and he was beautiful and sad and i could hold him.
and i knew he felt safe.
and then it got crazy.
i fucked up our relationship.
and then.
someone else made it worse.
im nervous to see him.
i would.
but i liked him. a lot.
we slept in parking lots..........
i was in love
i made a lot of mistakes..in my mind.
its funny i havent listened to sufjen in a lot time. lj makes me think of him
...................you got it.
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hey remember that time when i only smoked parliments [Feb. 3rd, 2008|01:57 am]
[mood |lovedloved]
[music |regina spektor]

this is one of those moments that i must remember.
im feeling so fucking raw and like..rwar.
ready for good mother fucking change.
ready to check my god damn head.
reconnect with old parts of my life.
i am manic, yet inspired, crazy party mode yet needing to not be.
crushing on dreamboats when i need to be focusing on WHAT IS ME.
god damn sometimes im too fucking intense even for myself.
today i sat in my new apartment in my fabulous blue room and wore red stripes and big white sunglasses and smoked and cried and smoked and cried.
then i admitted to myself that i think i might be a hipster and then found out later that utne reader just voted the bywater the hippest neighborhood in the us.
thats so fucking funny.
we are authentically cool.
this needs to get better.
i need control. or im going to have to like shave my head.
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my stomach is butterfly [Dec. 21st, 2007|08:31 pm]
i remember days ten thousand years ago.
when i first met him. and it all was starting.
god damn!
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i made a wish it was the wrong wish [Dec. 21st, 2007|12:36 am]
[music |big ship.]

i am never going to be who you think i am.
i am never someone you have known.
you have never known me.
i am only the one you have never known.
you will want to know me.
you do know me.
you do not and will never want to know me.
i am ten thousands times older than you will ever live.
i have never been born.

its impossible to navigate.
thats why i generally dont drive.
a firefly told me a secret.
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the water rises higher, i guess i might just have to swim [Aug. 25th, 2007|10:28 am]
[music |hooray for the riff raff]

it seems like suddenly my mind and my body realized how fast my heart and this world have been moving.
its not depression because i am not sad. its like. this strange grown up feeling.
like the first time i had a crush, felt those butterflys, or the first time i had my heart broken.
my comparisons are not to say that this feeling is emotionally the same, but instead it is the foreign feeling that leaves your frusterated and inspired at the same time.

if the rocking chair dont get me,
that old corn liquor will.
oh. here it comes..

ive been back and forth from my home in nola all summer. im ready to be rooted again and not leave for a while. many many things to do today, i take the time out im not sure why. for whom, im not sure why. me i think. its been a long time since ive sat and listened to music and let myself ramble. its a good feeling but. i know i am wasting time.....ohhhh here it comes. ohh here it comes.
sittin here waitin for the sun.
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flight #1324 syr to new orleans [May. 29th, 2007|03:24 am]
cant freakin sleep. have to be up in like an hour any way.
i miss my sweet sweet home in new orleans.
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(no subject) [May. 27th, 2007|10:15 pm]
[mood |contentcontent]

my bed is like cuddling a princess.
i was just kickin it with some fucking BEAUTIFUL lezzzbians.
cuse town is alright
be here till tuesday morning so if you need me hit me up
especially ......cute girlss. imdrun k
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thin world waltz [May. 10th, 2007|01:43 pm]
[Current Location |hcc]
[mood |humidity]
[music |why are we building such a big ship]

and then one day i woke up and i had this house in new orleans.
and a life and things and a bike with a milk crate basket and a banjo that i couldnt put down. lovers and friends. favorite bars.
and i realized i was never going home.
because i was home.

goodness me.
and i love every minute of it.
one year and 5 days ago i was planning to come to this city for the first time. and then one year and 6 days ago i fell completly in love with it. and i busted my ass for months doing free work so that i could begin to understand the littlest bit about the eco-economic-socio-race related disaster zone that i had walked head first into.

and now i sit on street corners and drink whiskey, spitting and swearing and laughing on the weekends (sometimes weeknights) and during the day i work and work and work, packing boxes and distros and having meetings and cooking huge meals, doing dishes of cambros and hotel pans, and learning how to listen, to be the back upon which strong local leadership can stand. for my knowledge is only a drop in the bucket.
surrounding myself with radicals and bike punks and clowns and people who challenge me.
this is good.
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butt-a-flyyyy [Apr. 4th, 2007|04:22 pm]
[Current Location |hcc]
[mood |curiouscurious]

i feel like i went on the best second date last night.
aint this predictable.
i never claimed to be nothin but trouble.
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